Arguments and Attempts to be an Awarenivore

Arguments and Attempts to be an Awarenivore

July 29, 2010

Blessed Herbs, Day 4

Hi, again. I'm doing a lot of work for tripwolf today. My mind feels ok, I can still focus, but I think I am forgetting things more easily. I always have a bit of struggle keeping things in my brain, but they seem to be fleeing faster today....

Sleeping in a lot this week - I suppose I like the excuse, but I also like to wake up, and be tempted to get even more work done by making myself a cup of coffee (it was tea for years, but Costa Rica got me in her grips!) for motivation.

What's wrong with food for motivation? :) I use my body a lot, for pleasure, and I guess you could call teaching 'work.' Food is fuel, of course, and food is art and expression that I get to ingest! Food is coming back into my life very soon ;)

This said, I think I am going to break my fast tomorrow. If I can get through today safely. I am teaching tonight, and twice tomorrow. My circulation is not so good, I'm chilly, and feeling pretty dizzy today. Being 'aware' of this situation require me to listen to my body and make changes. Whatever is going on int he toilet is not impressing me so much, so it's time to end, even though it's a bit early.

My 'make it to the top' stubbornness is pushing me to at least get through today. I am going to take shakes until my juice is gone, and then be done. No reason to potentially hurt myself in this experiment. That is NOT the idea, and I think I am just over it haha.

Well, 4 entire days without wheat, sugar, dairy, caffeine etc etc etc is a nice restart anyway! :) Tomato in the garden - YOU ARE MINE.

Thanks for listening. Have you ever tried anything like this? What do you think?

July 28, 2010

Blessed Herbs, Morning 3

This morning I woke up with abdominal cramps - all night wanted to get up to go, but our upstairs toilet is not working so well. I have been taking two of the digestive stimulators at night, but i think it may be too many. I have already gone to the bathroom 5 times. I am only going to take one tonight, and I am also going to take fewer toxin absorber shakes, drinking simply more juice, tea and water.

Part of doing this cleanse is the idea that it will give my digestive system a break, but as of right now, I feel like it is working overtime to pump all this stuff out.

Side note* I had interesting dreams about walking in late to an anatomy and physiology class, taught by my old (passed on) professor/advisor/poet, John Engels.

So, this morning I had a 1/2 cup of juice, and a couple of tablespoons of raw coconut oil. Everyone has their 'cures.' The internet is beautiful in many ways, giving me access to a multitude of different opinions and ideas, but what it really leaves one with is making decisions on our own. It's hard to know who the 'experts' are, and what to trust. This goes perfectly with my 'awarenivore' experiment - another reason I feel like I should stick it through.

It's hard not to feel like I am cultivating an eating disorder, but again, this is mind over matter. I just remind myself that I love food, I love my body, and I am truly trying to do good things for it. This is an experimentation in confidence and conviction. Do I believe in this idea enough to stick it through? To not let other people's (which may also simply be another uninformed opinion) effect what I am doing for myself? This morning I thought, halfway through, perhaps I am subconsciously looking for a way out in reading those things... ;)

To be aware is to have knowledge, be informed and conscious. To gain this, I think one must also gain personal experience. Without that, all one really gives is hearsay.

July 27, 2010

Hiking Camel's Hump

There are now at least a few camels in Vermont, but I am assuming they arrived in only the last 20 years or so. A friend had recently mentioned to me that the large mountain, that most of us know as Camel’s Hump, has a native named of Crouching Lion. This refers to the (now extinct?) Catamount, a large mountain lion that used to dominate this region.

Anyway, Jamie and I hiked this mountain on Sunday, pretty much on a whim. Even halfway up, we were not sure if we would go to the top. Then, we were just so close, I decided we had to keep going. ...and then it looked like Ireland at the summit. A bit wet and certainly cold. No views, but still amazing, natural and beautiful.

That morning, we had gone out and bought some Vibram five-fingers, and headed straight for the trail. Every other person stopped us to ask about them, and even though we're newbies, we tried to answer. So much conversation on the trail. They are extremely comfortable, like having invincible bare feet! (Until I stubbed my toe ;) ) Very light, and fun, which is all that matters. A kid passed us and said simply, "Those are the coolest shoes ever!"

Wahoo! This hike was one of my goals for the summer. :)

Blessed Herbs Cleanse, Day 2


It's day 2 of the liquid fast. I have been blessed with a quiet Tuesday, a beautiful weather Tuesday, so I am simply working from home, taking my day slowly, and taking time to sit outside, and now, write. :)

I am not so much feeling hungry, which is refreshing considering the fruit fast Ashley and I did last autumn was more difficult. I felt like I was starving the whole time, and always wanted more. These fiber shakes, that are the main part of the Blessed Herbs, really fill me up. The first time I took one (first night of the three day prep) I felt like it was super thick, and like I had cement in my stomach. But, now that there isn't any food in there, and only the shake, I feel pretty empty and clean. And the crazy stuff has already started to come out.

I made a veggie broth with a bit of miso, and mostly because I really enjoy chopping the veggies (kale from the garden) more than I was hungry. I have been alternating between juicing fresh, local apples, and bottled organic pear nectar, or a green juice, again, mostly just for variation.

I don't want to get sick of fresh apple smell or taste before cider-making season arrives. ;)

I felt amazing yesterday, and was still able to practice on my own, as well as lead a class. Jamie's parents (soon mine! I hate the word in-laws) came to class, and visited afterward which made me feel even better.

Today has been filled with reading, tea, working, sipping and a bit of writing - I hope to continue down this track.

I'm trying to pinpoint and put words to some of my anxiety, or restlessness, which I think comes from seeing the passing of time, and wanting to be aware of every second, every minute as it passes. As the day passes, as the season passes. I don't want it to pass, I want to slowly glide along with all of it, swept up in the waves. I guess this would be called, desiring to live in the moment. And as I try, I automatically separate myself. I just need to DO.

I think I came more prepared to this cleanse - it's the perfect week, no excuses in that aspect. Beautiful weather, which subsides my hunger for the most part anyway, and no particular parties or dinners etc. I am not quite sure what I expect to gain from this, really - it's a test mostly of my control, getting off of sugar for a bit, as well as wheat and dairy, which I plan to cut back on majorly anyway.

I am watching one tomato in the garden though, and if it ripens before Friday, I may have to make an exception.

July 20, 2010

Another RAW Potluck

Photo by George Mihaly

...This time at my place!

I made an all local dish (well, PA peaches were thrown in there, but they were sold at the local farm stand) that consisted of blueberries, raw corn right off of the cob, cubed peaches, a cubed tomato, chopped mint and parsley. I thought it was amazing, and no dressing or sweetener! I got the idea from a cookbook I saw in Maine, that told of blueberry and corn salsa.

Ashley brought some fresh juice, Liza and Chris a salad, along with some raw, fermented dressing they found in-store. George made nori rolls and brought another Durian which seems to have just become an event - I still don't like the taste! to go with the nori, he made a dipping sauce of almonds, garlic and salt - it tasted like ranch dressing (well, all the good parts about ranch dressing.) Claire made an incredible dessert, again - cute little raw chocolate cupcakes, with walnuts and cacao nibs. I mean incredible, like I would pay money for them, wouldn't you?

Photo by George Mihaly

This was only my second raw potluck, and I was so happy to have it at my place. I was so happy to have everyone over for anything, so I could pull the big dining room table out on the deck, and we could hang outside in the too-short summer weather.

It was also interesting to be introducing Liza and Chris into raw foods - not that they were completely new to the idea, but to show them their were recipes other than salads. George and Claire are the hard cores, so they explained a lot and we all soaked it in. Both Liza and Chris already do not eat wheat or dairy, so incorporating a lot of raw foods into their diet is an important goal for them.

Check out a few more pics, all taken by George - his blog can be found here:

July 18, 2010


We all innately desire the ability to provide for ourselves, yet we rely so heavily on others for the basics to live.

Most of us don't feed ourselves, and only half of us might cook for ourselves. I don't want to get too negative, because there are certainly benefits to our modern society - more time to follow our passions and spend time with friends, and less time worrying about whether we will survive the winter. But I think the pull to be independent and feed ourselves is still a happy practice.

Everyday I feel lucky to live in Vermont (especially on summer days) because I am surrounded by thoughtful people who also work hard to achieve things they believe in. I think Vermont probably has one of the strongest local food systems in the country, but we're still losing large farms and farmers daily to financial problems.

This yer, my garden is better than ever before (I've posted some pictures in the last posts.) but truthfully I am growing for fun, maybe getting enough broccoli for a week of eating, and peas and radishes for daily salads for a couple of months. Even this small amount of food is satisfying to my core. It's not as though "I made this," but it's more like "I cooperate with the rules of nature to create something successfully."

Like any art project, you need materials to work with, and this one required seeds, dirt and sun.

My brother and his friend were visiting this weekend, and yesterday I promised a cup of coffee and a garden tour. Justin, currently living in Boston, and as far as I know who has never desired to farm or garden said under his breath a few times "I want to have a garden..."

I do not think it was the mystery of life, or the magic of watching things grow from a tiny seed into food - I think it was more of a provider's desire - the idea that with a little time and digging, we can create something that sustains and supplements life.

July 13, 2010

No Food Guilt

When was the last time you ate something in which every part of it was good for you?

Eating healthy on vacation is tough. I was in Maine last week, and I ate well, but bologna sandwiches and Bailey's I would not consider healthy. Even as I placed the stuff in my mouth I was thinking "Why am I eating this?" Tummy overrules my brain often.

I believe that the raw foodists are on to something, and if you've check out one of my lats posts, you'll notice that I'm learning more about this diet. Every meal, absolutely no food guilt. It's all good for you and necessary for your body...crazy. I'm not ready to go full on, in fact, I don't think that would make me happy. I do believe in a 40 or 50% diet, and since it's summer, it's easier to get fresh, local produce, as well as eat lighter on the whole.

George shared with he a simple recipe for raw tomato sauce - just blend a tomato or two, salt, pepper and few garlic cloves. I used it for salad dressing, but you could put it on anything. Salt is so satisfying, and garlic will give depth to anything, as well as leave you with intense breath for the rest of the day.

I picked some kale from the garden, and wilted it with lemon juice and salt. Then just threw in some sliced avocado (not local I know ahhhh!) and drizzled the tomato sauce over it. So salty, lemony and good. See the pic above.

Here's another salad I'm proud of, everything from the garden:

I had been craving a kale salad since the raw potluck a few weeks ago. Getting a bit personal here, after that meal, I had three days with amazing bowel movements. Large and clean. Alright, that's as far as I'll get into it.

I wasn't just looking for more of those, but the tart of lemon and dry bite of parsley and kale (did not have parsley on hand this time, but wish I did!) I tend to get obsessed with certain meals, eating them every day for two weeks, then wishing I would not see them again for months. I have actually yet to make the kale salad again, but I will make it (improved version) for the raw dinner we're planning for next Tuesday at my place. Anyone interested? :)


I have just picked up the book "Born to Run," by Chris McDougall. It's been recommended to me by quite a few people, and I'm into it. He's just so good at making what could be a short story into a long one where I want to know all the details. In short, it seems to be about a tribe if Running People who have kept themselves away from modern society by holing up in the desolately beautiful Copper Canyon of Mexico. He's so good at making them seem magical - I believe it. They're known to be the best long-distance runners in the world, who live of really nothing more than corn and corn-moonshine. They run hundred of miles at a time over the world's most dangerous terrain just because it's in their blood. I haven't run since I've started practicing yoga intensly, but it made me want to wake up early and see how far I could go! ...maybe tomorrow.

It's inspiring in other ways as well. These are not necessarily 'passionate people,' Ambitions do not drive them. They're simply loving life, and no one is telling them not to do these amazing things. The law of intention...kind of. More like just celebrating the body which frees and happifies the mind. (Yup)

Plus, they eat a lot of chia seeds...maybe I'll order some from Raw Food world and start training for the next ultra-marathon. :P